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| 07:00pm 16/04/2008 |
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mood:  loved music: Cat Stevens
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It may appear that you are going about your life as usual, taking care of everyone else first. But something is cooking within the privacy of your own mind now as you consider how to better nurture yourself. Don't be afraid of making a decision to express your needs more freely, even if you cannot act on it for a few more days. |
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| 07:28pm 10/04/2008 |
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Infected minds to their deaf pillows discharge their secrets |
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| 07:53pm 07/04/2008 |
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mood: loved music: Bad Company
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Things haven't been this wonderful and great in a long, long time. I am so happy and it's real.
I am in love...for the first time in 2 years, but this is different, it's good. It's not the destructive more hate than love kind. It's just LOVE.
ahhh, completely amazing. I can spend every minute with him and never get sick of him.
He always knows how to just put a geniune smile on my face.
And I love being back to work and at the same house I was at when I broke my. It's good.
Things are so good!!! |
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| 12:44am 22/03/2008 |
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mood:  working
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things are wonderful!!!
spent all last night and all of today with Chris until I had to come into work for 3rd shift... Just hold him makes me feel at ease, he just might be the best thing that has happened to me in a really, really long time. I love waking up in his arms.
Brittany and I are moving into Matty B's house. They split the rent per room and we're going to share a room so it's only going to be $150 per month plus utilities. FUCK YEAH. And it's less than a mile from Chris' apartment, frickin awesome.
I am so happy right now. I've really been needing this. |
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| i like where this is going. |
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| 10:52pm 14/03/2008 |
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mood:  content music: weezer
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But I'm shakin' at your touch
I like you way too much
My baby I'm afraid I'm falling for you
I'd do 'bout anything to get the hell out alive
or maybe I would rather settle down with you
had my job interview for my old job back. I really think I'll get the position. I decided to stay in TN for awhile.
Chris and I decided to be "exclusive" or whatever.. I hate labels....but he's completely wonderful. I'm very happy right now. I need somebody to even my crazy ass out a little bit and restore some of my faith in people.
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| torn. |
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| 05:36pm 11/03/2008 |
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mood:  pensive music: Azure Ray
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I am looking for signs to lead me where I need to go.
He may be the most wonderful and gentle boy I have ever met in my life. Although I've thought that before and been very wrong. I just get very true and great vibes from him, the way he kisses and holds me is like nothing I've ever really felt......It kind of scares me a little but we're so compatible. He's wonderful.
But he's in TN and I don't think I want to stay here but I'm torn, so torn.
It's actually really good being back and having my closest friends in the same town.
I have a job here if I want to stay for awhile and play it out.
And it's so refreshing to be living with Lucas again.
I just don't know yet. Ugh, I hate decisions. |
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| 04:17pm 05/03/2008 |
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music: Brian Jonestown Massacre
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drama is ridiculous. why can't people just say what they mean and be honest? No, insted they say something is fine and then get mad when you think everything should be okay.
Chris is great though. One of the sweetest guys I've met in a long long time.
He's a Cancer with Scorpio rising and a Gemini moon. good stuff.
I really don't want to get to attached to anyone here though since I'm moving to FL in a few weeks or as soon as I get my tax return. But I guess it's always nice to have somebody to hang out with.
It's awesome to be living with Lucas again too. He was the best roommate ever. I just helped him all last weekend move into his new apt. and we're going this weekend to get rugs and essentials for the place. It's really nice, hard wood floors.. It's the whole top part of an older brick house. I like it.
Things are good. cash is starting to run low, guess I should quit drinking. haha. but ahh well. flowing with life and not too worried about much. |
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| 06:34pm 02/03/2008 |
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so, staying in TN a little longer than I thought i was going to. Filing my taxes and then going down to FL on my tax money.
I hate money. it's evil but so necassary.
at least i have a place to stay and whatnot while i'm down here for as long as i need. could always be worse.
it's been an interesting few weeks, that's for sure. |
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| 09:59pm 07/02/2008 |
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leaving Saturday morning for TN. there for a week then driving to FL.
i'm so excited.
ohh... and I got a laptop so i'll be able to get online frequently and keep in touch with everyone. YAY.
that's all. |
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| MY NEW TATTOO. treelady |
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| 01:21am 18/01/2008 |
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the new tattoo i got today. It's amazing. My autumn season treelady (mother nature)
i love, love, love it!!!!
side view.
Randy is such an great artist.
Going to a tattoo convention with Jenna and Randy this weekend too. Should be fun. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| St. Augustine |
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| 01:44pm 13/01/2008 |
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Silver scents of saint augustine
fire in the ground
between my better teeth
we're dancing on the poison in their graves
at the end of the night
we'd all seen better days
i know you tried
i know you're cursed
i know your best was still your worst
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Read 1 - Post |
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| FUCKING INSOMNIA. |
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| 06:18am 11/01/2008 |
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fuck.
got up at 8AM this morning so I could go to sleep at a decent time... NOOOO, 6AM and still fucking awake, can't sleep. fucking insomnia. what the fuck. Going to go buy malatonin pills tomorrow (today to those who sleep)
fuck this shit.
gaaaaahhh... just want to sleep.
well, better than the usual nightmares i suppose.
but honestly... come on now.. i think i'd rather deal with the nightmares.
Listening to Leonard Cohen and comptemplating things. |
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| because i have nothing better to do |
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| 01:46pm 10/01/2008 |
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10 Real Random Facts About You
1. I'm akward around people i don't know if i'm sober
2. I hate my teeth.
3. All I truely know in my life is that I want to work with the mentally handicapped.
4. My family is really all I have.
5. I miss my doggie, Merle.
6. I don't trust anyone.
7. I wear size 3 1/2 shoe in boys.
8. I can't wait to have my car back (1987 Volvo Stationwagon)
9. I drink in excess at times.
10. Always trying to better myself.
( rock on garth, rock on. ) |
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| hmmm... |
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| 09:03am 07/01/2008 |
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Simple Song Shuffle Survey
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question.
NO CHEATING...
What does next year have in store for me?
Passenger Seat -Death Cab for Cutie
What's my love life like?
Be my Angel -Mazzy Star
What do i say when life gets hard?
Sweet Little Things -Lucero
What do I think when I get up in the morning?
Talking Shit About a Pretty Sunset -Modest Mouse
What song will I dance to at my wedding?
Growing on Me -The Darkness
What do you want for a career?
Sleepwalking Ballad -Apostle of Hustle
Your favorite saying?
She's Losing it -Belle and Sebastian
Favorite place?
Anecdote -Ambulance LTD
What do you think of your parents?
Hello Dearest Love -The Appleseed Cast
Where would you go on a first date?
Never to be Found -Meat Puppets
Describe yourself?
Sway -Voxtrot
What is the thing I like doing most?
Black Flowers -Yo La Tengo
What is my state of mind like at the moment?
I Dissapear -The Faint
How will I die?
Karma Police -Radiohead
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| HOPE |
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| 02:29pm 28/12/2007 |
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mood:  optimistic music: The Cars
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"Hope is a constant companion in this life.
It is the one thing that neither cruel nature, god, nor other men can wrench from us. Health, wealth, parents, beloved brothers and sisters, friends, the past, the future - can all be stolen from us as easy as an unguarded purse.
But our greatest treasure, hope, remains. It is a sturdy little motor within purring, ticking, driving us on when reason would suggest surrender. It is both the most pathetic and noblest thing about us, the most absurd and the more admirable quality we possess, for as long as we have hope, we also have the capacity for love, for caring, for decency." |
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| 02:33am 17/12/2007 |
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mood: content
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I'M HEALED!!!
finally after 6 long, long months my leg is healed. i'm weening myself off the brace... well, actually i haven't used it at all since my appt (thursday)
but i also haven't left my house.
actually i've only left my house once in the past 3 weeks. one of my reclusive phases. bah.
SOOO.. looking for a plane ticket.
one more month in this cold, cold hell of NNY.
and i won't be coming back for a long, long time.... well, hopefully.. maybe once in awhile to visit. |
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| My kind of Christmas cookies |
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| 02:31pm 11/12/2007 |
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mood:  amused music: Annie Lennox
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Christmas Cookie Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Patron Tequila
(or any liquor of choice will do.)
Sample the Tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the
Tequila again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one
level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer…Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar…Beat again.
At this point it’s best to make sure the Tequila is still OK, try
another cup .. just in case, add extra cup if still not sure..
-cigarette break-
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and
chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frickin fruit off floor…
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers
just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Samp! le! the Tequila to check for tonsist icity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet.
Check the Tequila. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your
nuts.
Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don’t forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the bottle of tequila
and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
CHERRY MISTMAS |
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| Reasons for Vegetarianism |
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| 11:34am 11/12/2007 |
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THE HUNGER ARGUMENT
* Number of people worldwide who will die as a result of malnutrition this year: 20 million.
* Number of people who could be adequately fed using land freed if Americans reduced their intake of meat by 10%: 100 million.
* Percentage of corn grown in the U.S. eaten by people: 20%.
* Percentage of corn grown in the U.S. eaten by livestock: 80%.
* Percentage of oats grown in the U.S. eaten by livestock: 95%.
* Percentage of protein wasted by cycling grain through livestock: 90%.
* How frequently a child dies as a result of malnutrition: every 2.3 seconds.
* Pounds of potatoes that can be grown on an acre: 40,000 lbs.
* Pounds of beef produced on an acre: 250 lbs.
* Percentage of U.S. farmland devoted to beef production: 56%.
* Pounds of grain and soybeans needed to produce a pound of edible flesh from feedlot beef: 16 lbs.
THE ENVIRONMENT ARGUMENT
The Global Warming greenhouse effect is primarily caused by carbon dioxide emissions from fossil fuels.
* Fossil fuels needed to produce meat-centered diet vs. a meat-free diet: 3 times more.
* Percentage of U.S. topsoil lost to date: 75%.
* Percentage of U.S. topsoil loss directly related to livestock raising: 85%.
* Number of acres of U.S. forest cleared for cropland to produce meat-centered diet: 260 million.
* Amount of meat imported to U.S. annually from Central and South America: 300,000,000 pounds.
* Percentage of Central American children under the age of five who are undernourished: 75%.
* Area of tropical rainforest consumed in every quarter-pound of rainforest beef: 55 square feet.
* Current rate of species extinction due to destruction of tropical rainforests for meat grazing and other uses: 1,000 per year.
THE CANCER ARGUMENT
* Increased risk of breast cancer for women who eat meat daily compared to less than once a week: 3.8 times.
* For women who eat eggs daily compared to once a week: 2.8 times.
* For women who eat butter and cheese 2-4 times a week: 3.25 times.
* Increased risk of fatal ovarian cancer for women who eat eggs 3 or more times a week vs. less than once a week: 3 times.
* Increased risk of fatal prostate cancer for men who consume meat, cheese, eggs and milk daily vs. sparingly or not at all: 3.6 times.
THE CHOLESTEROL ARGUMENT
* Number of U.S. medical schools: 125.
* Number requiring a course in nutrition: 30.
* Nutrition training received by average U.S. physician during four years in medical school: 2.5 hours.
* Most common cause of death in the U.S.: Heart attack.
* How frequently a heart attack kills in the U.S.: every 45 seconds.
* Average U.S. man's risk of death from heart attack: 50%.
* Risk of average U.S. man who eats no meat: 15%.
* Risk of average U.S. man who eats no meat, dairy or eggs: 4%.
* Amount you reduce risk of heart attack if you reduce consumption of meat, dairy and eggs by 10 percent: 9%.
* Amount you reduce risk of heart attack if you reduce consumption by 50 percent: 45%.
* Amount you reduce risk if you eliminate meat, dairy and eggs from your diet: 90%.
* Average cholesterol level of people eating meat-centered-diet: 210 mg/dl
* Chance of dying from heart disease if you are male and your blood cholesterol level is 210 mg/dl: greater than 50%.
THE NATURAL RESOURCES ARGUMENT
* User of more than half of all water used for all purposes in the U.S.: livestock production.
* Amount of water used in production of the average cow: sufficient to float a destroyer.
* Gallons of water needed to produce a pound of wheat: 25%.
* Gallons of water needed to produce a pound of California beef: 5,000 gallons.
* Years the world's known oil reserves would last if every human ate a meat-centered diet: 13 years.
* Years they would last if human beings no longer ate meat: 260 years.
* Calories of fossil fuel expended to get 1 calorie of protein from beef: 78 calories.
* Calories of fossil fuel expended to get 1 calorie of protein from soybeans: 2 calories.
* Percentage of all raw materials (base products of farming, forestry and mining, including fossil fuels) consumed by U.S. that is devoted to the production of livestock: 33%.
* Percentage of all raw materials consumed by the U.S. needed to produce a complete vegetarian diet: 2%.
THE ANTIBIOTIC ARGUMENT
* Percentage of U.S. antibiotics fed to livestock: 55%.
* Percentage of staphylococci infections resistant to penicillin in 1960: 13%.
* Percentage of staphylococci infections resistant to penicillin in 1988: 91%.
* Response of European Economic Community to routine feeding of antibiotics to livestock: Ban.
* Response of U.S. meat and pharmaceutical industries to routine feeding of antibiotics to livestock: full and complete support.
THE PESTICIDE ARGUMENT
* Common belief: U.S. Department of Agriculture protects our health through meat inspection.
* Reality: fewer than 1 out of every 250,000 slaughtered animals is tested for toxic chemical residues.
* Percentage of U.S. mother's milk containing significant levels of DDT: 99%.
* Percentage of U.S. vegetarian mother's milk containing significant levels of DDT: 8%.
* Contamination of breast milk, due to chlorinated hydrocarbon pesticides in animal products, found in meat-eating mothers vs. non-meat eating mothers: 35 times higher.
* Amount of Dieldrin ingested by the average breast-fed American infant: 9 times the permissible level.
THE ETHICAL ARGUMENT
* Number of animals killed for meat per hour in the U.S.: 660,000.
* Occupation with highest turnover rate in U.S.: slaughterhouse worker.
* Occupation with highest rate of on-the-job-injury in U.S.: slaughterhouse worker.
THE SURVIVAL ARGUMENT
* Athlete to win Ironman Triathlon more than twice: Dave Scott (6 time winner).
* Food choice of Dave Scott: Vegetarian. |
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| 07:19am 05/12/2007 |
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mood:  aggravated music: lavender diamond
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this erratic sleeping is really starting to get to me. I get up at 8am... I'm still up until at least 4am.
i finally fell asleep by 2am last night... I'm up at 6am and can't go back to sleep.
i have no sleep schedule anymore at all. i don't understand why. it seems like sometimes for days i don't get even a full 5 hours of sleep, just a couple hours here and there at random times.
anyone know of any good natural cures for insomnia?
and it's not just that. my thought patterns are constantly scattered, i'm thinking or worrying about a million different things at the same time. but i'm not really stressed.
hmmm... |
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onthefaultline's journal
